Friday, February 10, 2012

Regarding Violent "Discipline" for Teen Girls

I've heard that there's a father who read a message his daughter put on facebook, got mad about it, and shot her laptop to death.

I've only heard about it, because I will not watch the video - nor am I linking to it - because I do NOT think we should invite shows of violence into our lives.

I am going to give my opinions on it, though.

First, for all the people who are applauding his act of "discipline"...Discipline is "Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement." (Free Online Dictionary)....what part of shooting a laptop was training to produce moral or mental improvement? What does that possibly teach besides violence?

Teen daughters. I have 2. I have read that the girl in question is 15....I had one of those up until November, I'll have another in July. 15 is a HARD age! Sometimes I questioned whether we'd make it through. We literally ended up in the emergency room there toward the last of her 15th year.......it was THAT hard.

She cussed us.

She called us Dreadful, terrible names.

She did things I wish she hadn't.

She was mean and cruel.

She was a scared, hormonal, trying-to-grow-up-but-still-a-kid, going through a tough patch with old friends and family, deciding who she was and what she wasn't, CHILD. 15 is a child. It seems so young now...although I at 15 was sure I was ready to take on the world. ;) 15 is so tiny....still small enough to need hugs and kisses from momma, but old enough to think it's silly to want them. ;)

We held her as close as possible and loved her through it. There was no grounding, spanking, threats or -horrors!- shootings.

HOW.....how on earth could the people who are supposed to love you MOST treat you the worst when you're already so stressed? I don't understand it. Parents are supposed to be the ones the kids can Trust most. How could you trust someone who would SHOOT your property?

We made it through fairly unscathed. When she turned 16 it was like flipping a switch. She's fun, and funny, and enjoyable again. She and her sister laugh all the time! Days go by without a fight between them! It's amazing. :)

I have a theory about parenting teen girls.....don't disturb them. ;) Kind of like a "Don't feed the bears" sign. From the ages of 13-15 you don't touch them unless they initiate it, you don't speak to them unless it's something happy and friendly (and even then you proceed carefully, taking into consideration the time of month, cycle, and wind changes), and you bite your tongue a LOT. I think more teen girls would come out relatively unscathed if these few basic rules were followed. (I'm having a hard time myself, this time around. My little one has always been my snuggle bunny, and it's difficult to remember to keep my hands to myself!) ;)

I do, however, look forward to the last few years before they're both adults with hope. I believe we'll make it through. I believe they'll grow up with less angst than their contemporaries and they'll go on to make a difference in their worlds.

I believe in my kids.

Even when they don't believe in themselves. Or in me.